Well Fudgesickles!!! Office of the Governor Greg Abbott has stumbled on a tactic that has worked well in so many political crisis… Scapegoats! He has decided that the recent rise in Covid-19 MUST be the nefarious work of the Bars that have recently been plaguing Texas citizens. In a clever effort to halt our evil plans, he has issued a surprisingly narrowly focused Shutdown Order (Rafting??? really???🤨) We will have more on that in a future post… Please stand by.
That said, Fetching Lab is forced to enact our backup plan. We call it “The Evil, He’s-On-To-Us-So-Hurry-And-Cause-As-Much-Chaos-As-Possible-Plan-of-Evil.“😁
The Plan is as Follows: – Continue to follow or exceed all Federal, state, county, city, CDC, rules/recommendations/guidelines/hints/rumors as possible. That should cause some real chaos!!!! 😄
– We will be open Wed – Fri from 2:00PM to 9:00PM and Sat/Sun Noon until 9:00PM. This is until Greg Abbott deems to remember us small business owners that have been struggling to survive for months now while doing everything else he has said for us to do and rescinds his order. It is possible our hours may change as the situation changes and we will let you know if they do. Thank you for having patience with us as we adjust.
– You may still come into the Taproom and place a ToGo Order or go to our online Store to place an order for Pick Up. We will do curbside delivery if you would like.
– No drinking will be allowed in the Taproom… unless Office of the Governor Greg Abbott decides to drop by for one of our fantastic brews …. and then, what could we do to stop him? (On a serious note… if Greg Abbott wishes to swing by and talk, we would treat him as an honored guest and would LOVE to talk to him regarding the situation.)
– We WILL still be having our Pet Vaccination event on Saturday 6/27. We believe that one health crisis should not create another. This will be held outside and the same social distancing rules that we’ve been maintaining will still be in place.
Please stay tuned for a more details, with or without humor, we don’t know, it’s chaos, our plan is working!🤣
We here at K9NN are hoping that you are all staying safe during the Covid-19 outbreak. We fully understand that this is a major health crisis that is facing our whole nation. This has somewhat interrupted our local election townhall meetings where we bring you candidates looking to be immediately elected (adopted). While we are working to identify new ways to promote the local doggo candidates and Save-A-Life, we also understand that the details surrounding some Doggo issues must still be addressed if we are to move forward with electing a Leader of the Pack. As the election is still planned to be held in November, we would like to take this opportunity to address another of the key issues that plague the K9 community and see what the candidates have to say about it.
While much effort has been put into determining what issues are most important to Doggos, it is the details surrounding these issues that the Leader of the Pack must address. For example, while polling indicates that most Doggos are Pro-eating (at least 235% favorability), it is far from being settled as to the order in which the food is to be placed. This issue was forced to the forefront of national concern with the arrival of a 4th Doggo into the Pack followed shortly thereafter by the great food-bowl mix up of November 4, 2019 (See Doggopedia: The November Food Tragedy). Is it nobler in the hearts of dogs to allow the Hu-mans to place the bowls down in their own chosen order or to suffer the indignation of wrong bowl placement? That is the question that must be answered.
We took this opportunity to sit down with each of the four Candidates to ask them their thoughts on this key issue. Mrs. Bella R Dogga,United Retriever’s Party Candidate as well as CCO of Fetching Lab Brewery was kind enough to not only sit down with us at our studio but she also brought us an amazing selection of Fetching Lab Beers for us to enjoy. Thank you Bella… you are a Good-Girl! Through her work guiding Fetching Lab Brewery and Taproom, Mrs. Dogga has acquired extensive experience with Hu-mans, “I’ve been at this a long time. I do believe that the Hu-mans can handle this task. Everyone will get fed.” She further expressed her understanding that it can be hard waiting for your bowl to be placed in the correct spot, “it’s just not worth all the jumping up and down and spinning in circles that some Doggos do.” It is believed that this last comment was in reference to General Ruffington’s unofficial nickname, “Fidget-Spinner”. We then took the opportunity to turn the conversation to Mrs Dogga’s personal experience of the November Food Tragedy. She stated, “I do admit, finding a bowl that was not mine in my spot was quite a blow, but the “Dad” seems contrite about it and we will continue to monitor his activities.” As to her overall stance regarding feeding order, she stated, “My administration pledges to dedicate sufficient resources into the development of efficient food distribution techniques in an effort to allocate more time for retrieving activities.”
We then visited Prof. Oberon O P Slobbarat his office. Prof Sobbar, the current frontrunner of the Doggos Encouraging Reform Party, is best known for his anti-“Enough” stance. The interview took an almost immediate turn when Prof. Slobbar stated, “The real issue is, why only the food in “the bowl”? It is a known fact, backed up by years of observation, that there is an endless supply of food in the Magic Food Room. Why do we only get what the Hu-mans put into our bowls and call “Enough”?” After showing us several photos of what appears to be a very tightly closed door, Prof Slobbar (after once again reminding us it is pronounced “Slow-Bear”) stated, “We must work to remove all impediments to our access to the Magic Food Room. I pledge I will work to get the Hu-mans to open that door permanently!” He then mumbled something about needing to think on the matter and proceeded to take a nap.
One of our roving reporters caught up with General Ranger R Ruffington while he was out on patrol. Gen. Ruffington, representing the Shepherds for Progress Party, is best known for his stance on Yard Protection. When asked his thoughts on Feeding order, he stated, “This shouldn’t be an issue. The most logical course of action is to place the bowls down starting in the spot that is closest to the Magic Food Room.” When asked how he felt regarding the fact that this is not a stance shared by the majority of the Pack, he stated, “I know it seems unfair as my spot is closest to the Magic Food Room, but it’s just the best way. That’s the way that it has always been done and all attempts to change it have failed.” Arguing issues of efficiency and the importance of protecting the Yard, the General’s final comments were, “We want to work to ensure that there is progress, but not too much progress that could be detrimental to me receiving my food quickly. And as to Mrs. Dogga’s comments, the Spin-in-Place maneuver is an extremely effective Threat Assessment techniques and I will have you know that the nickname was bestowed upon me by none other than ‘Mom’ herself.” He then dismissed the reporter to continue with his patrol and began barking at a dragonfly that was encroaching on the Yard’s protected airspace.
Being one of the most approachable of the candidates, we were able to find Miss Piper U McPuppers exploring a new smell she discovered in the Yard. Miss McPuppers stunned the entire Pack when she became the youngest candidate to run for office by forming the Lickatarian Party. (The fact that every dog in the Pack is running for office has never come up in conversation.) When we asked for her stance on the issue, she stated, “My current stance is all four legs spread for stability, tail in the air, nose to the ground trying to identify this new scent.” The reporter promptly told her it was a dead dragonfly and clarified that the question was in regards to feeding order. To which she responded, “I believe that all Doggos have the right to equal treatment. If one doggo gets fed the others should be fed as well.” When informed that the issue in question was the order of the feeding and not if any Doggo should be left out of the feeding, she responded, “That is exactly the point I was trying to make.” She then took the opportunity presented by the stunned reporters silence to state, “I pledge to work to ensure that all Doggos in the Pack are fed at least once a day. We shouldn’t have to wait so long to be fed a second time each day.”
Editor’s note: After the interview concluded, the field reporter promptly quit and became a turnup farmer.
As can be clearly seen, even though all the candidates agree that food is important, they have a wide range of stances on how to address feeding order. It is K9NN’s opinion that this will not be a “One Issue race”. The battle for top dog is just heating up! Stay tuned to K9NN as your Election Headquarters!
Let us know your opinion on what other K9 issues we need to address to help you evaluate these fine K9 Citizens and don’t forget to Vote for Leader of the Pack in November!
Note:Vote Dog 2020 is being performed as part of the Fetching Lab Brewery’s Save-A-Life program. It is intended to be fun and to help raise visibility to the Save-A-Life Program, Pets in need and to Fetching Lab Brewery. We are attempting to look at elections through a Doggos eyes. Any similarity to any Hu-man candidates, issues, current events or other political ideology is unintentional and should be viewed as such. Let’s all have a little fun and help out some Doggos!
During this time of unprecedented crisis, we here at KNN (K9 News Network) thought it would be a good time to check in with the four Doggos running for Leader of the Pack. We met with each candidate to discuss the overall situation and see what advice they wish to pass on. We first spoke to Bella R Dogga, leader of the United Retrievers Party. Given her duties guiding Fetching Lab Brewery as well as running for Leader of the Pack we were quite pleased that she was able to give us and interview on such short notice. “All I can say is that things are changing faster than a Chuck-It Ball thrown by and MLB star pitcher… and with this “don’t put things in your mouth” ban… have you ever tried retrieving a ball by kicking it? What next, hitting it with a stick?” Mrs. Dogga was gracious enough to show us around her Taproom. “As you can see, we had to modify our business model to accommodate the reality of the Coronavirus epidemic. Currently, every time we come up with a plan, before we can implement it, we have to change to something else based off changes to Federal and State guidelines. It has been more annoying than the old “Fake Throw” used by “Dad” from time to time. I am very pleased with the way my team responded. To design and implement a totally new To-Go system on such short notice… that’s keeping your eye on the ball.” When asked what advice she had for her constituents she simply said, “follow the guidelines that you are provided and don’t lick your paws … for now.”
We were fortunate that while we were at FLB Taproom, we had an opportunity to interview Prof. Oberon O P Sobbar who heads the Doggos Encouraging Reform Party. He explained that this extreme social distancing requirement has giving him an excellent opportunity to gather more data on the Nap portion of his Grand Unifying Theory of “Enough”. “With every crisis there comes opportunity. I was expending a lot more effort on Belly-Rub data gathering than I could afford. Thanks to this priority shift, I now have data that confirms that naps can be a crucial part of Social Distancing for Doggos.” Prof. Slobbar is a strong supporter of firsthand data gathering and believes that his work will change the lives of Doggos everywhere… if he can make the effort to publish it. Regarding the Covid-19 epidemic he stated, “Hu-mans, with their obsession with numbers… why not Covid-food-bowl or Covid-Squeaky-Toy?” He offered this advice to his constituents, “Just sleep it off and if you have to touch me, wash your paws.” As of the writing of this article, he is deep in a data gathering session.
Given all his responsibilities with the Yard Advanced Protection Services and running of the FLB command center, General Ranger R Ruffington was very difficult to reach. We did manage a phone interview with him which was challenging in and of itself as he lacks opposable thumbs to hold the phone. “I have been advocating for extreme Social Distancing for some time now. The less people around Mom the better. It appears that my efforts have started to pay off. Over the last few days, the humans have been coming to the Taproom in groups of 10 or less.” He stated that the overall situation has been tricky as he has had to deal with Dad much more than normal, “It’s not too bad dealing with him from time to time but now, it’s like he thinks he lives here!” When asked his stance of the Covid-19 epidemic he responded, “Exactly 3 feet outside the back door, facing the Yard, ears up!” As to advice in handling the current epidemic, “If you want to stay healthy, stay off my lawn!”
Of the four candidates, we had the hardest time catching up with Piper U McPuppers. Rumer has it that the Face First philosophy of the current Lickatarian Party leadership is struggling to gain traction in this time of epidemic. We were able to catch up to Miss McPuppers at a rally in Alpine, TX. Her only remark on the record was, “Due to the CDC’s moratorium on licking things, the Lickitarian Party has no comment at this time”.
We would like to thank each of the candidates for taking the time to speak with us. We wish them all the best of luck in their upcoming campaigns.
Today we would like to start our status update amidst the COVID-19 crisis on a personal note. We want to thank all of you for your support these last few days. Everything has been appreciated; sharing and interacting with our social media, tagging us in other posts, sending us your ideas, coming by and purchasing beer and so much more. We are truly blessed to have such a wonderful community of people around us.
So with that said, lets get to the hops and barley of the post!
Yesterday our plans were changed for us by Governor Abbotts mandate to close all dining rooms and only allow pick-up/to-go orders. This order starts at midnight tonight. We have decided that during this order, some changes will be made.
1. Tonight is the last night for the Taproom to be open until April 4th (says here in fine print). We will be open 3-9pm tonight but also encouraging Pickup to-go orders.
2. Starting Tomorrow, Our new hours of operation for pick-up To-Go Orders, until this is all over will be 12-8 EVERY DAY! Yes. You will be able to get Fetching Lab Brews any day you want for the next couple weeks.
To Support this and to enhance the safety of our customers we are introducing a new Online ordering system. This is hosted by Square, so your orders will be secure. If you would like curbside deliver, just call us at 281-414-7355 when you get here and we will run your order out to you. (Must be 21, as usual)
Just go to: https://fetchinglabbrewery.square.site/ to make your order.
We at Fetching Lab have been following the COVID-19 crisis
very closely. We have read CDC guidance,
and reached out to government officials for information and recommendations. We are taking this very seriously and want to
make the right decision for both the health and safety of our community and the
survival of Fetching Lab Brewery and Taproom.
It is not without deep contemplation that we have come to a decision on
our go-forward plans. Neither Galveston
County nor Texas City has ordered a closure of Bars and Restaurants for our
area. With that, we will be opening our normal Thurs-Sunday but with some
changes and limitations.
We highly encourage that if you are sick, please stay home. Follow CDC and local health guidance to prevent the spread of the virus.
We encourage you to consider purchasing Beer To-Go. We sell Crowlers (canned beer) and will fill Growlers (bring your own growler). We sanitize both Crowlers and Growlers inside and out before filling them. We will be implementing a call-in ordering system to encourage To-Go Crowlers and Growlers. This will allow us to prepare your order and expedite the transaction for pick-up orders.
We will be posting our menu each day on social media and our website.
For call in orders, please call 281-414-7355. If no response, please leave a message or text with your name and order. We are also working on an online order option for your convenience. Stay tuned.
We will be limiting our capacity by removing the seating from several tables to help create more space and encourage social distancing. This will also reduce our capacity well below the 50 people recommended by the CDC. Again, if you are in an at-risk group or sick, please consider to-go options or staying home.
While we already keep a clean sanitary environment, we will be increasing the frequency of our processes. Tables and chairs and other surfaces will all be wiped down regularly with a bleach solution.
Hand Sanitizer is available for customer use.
Games will not be available for the next few weeks. You are welcome to bring your own.
We will only be serving bottled water; the water cooler will be unavailable.
We will be limiting our hours of operation and closing at 9pm. Our hours may change as we learn more.
All special events that were planned for the next two weeks will be cancelled to reduce the potential for large crowd sizes.
This has been a quickly changing environment and we will be adjusting as needed. Keep checking back for the latest details.
Lastly on a more personal note, we encourage you to support all
local small businesses in whatever way you can.
(Order To-Go or delivery, purchase gift cards, share and interact with
social media posts, have compassion for the difficult decisions they are having
to make etc.) This crisis will likely mean the end to many small family owned
businesses. These businesses often
operate on very small margins and are just squeaking by. They have put their life savings into a dream
and are very afraid that this may be the end.
The downturn in business alone, may be enough to tip the balance for
some, but a complete mandated closure at the end of a month when bills are due,
will mean disaster for many companies.
The employees will be hurting as many do not have large savings to rely
on. They are likely in fear that there may be no company to come back to after
an extended closure and with a smaller job market because so many companies went
out of business, what will they do?
These are some of the considerations that we ourselves have had to
discuss when coming to this decision.
How do you make the right decision when you are faced with the risk of
the virus vs. losing everything you’ve worked to build and your family and employees’
livelihood? Many people’s entire futures are on the line right now. Small businesses and their employees need
your support, even it if it is just to have compassion for the difficult
position this has put them in. Understand
that we highly encourage you to follow CDC and Local Health Guidelines, and you
should make the best decisions for your health and safety of your family. There are lots of ways to support a small
business, that does not require putting you and your family at risk.